Happily Amber After

Secret Mercy

Monday, 30th August 2004

SHE’S BEEN GOING OUT WITH HIM THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME!

I am sooooo fucking mad!

Mercy told us the full story at school today. Firstly, she apologised to Lauren for bringing drama to her party. Lauren accepted her apology… but I could tell she wasn’t very happy about it. Until Mercy spilled the beans.

“This is really hard for me…” Mercy started to say, “Well, Demarco and I never broke up.”

I got hell agro, “So like, all this time… you’ve been lying to us?!”

She looked me dead in the eye and said quietly, “I know how it looks and I’m really sorry. I just couldn’t do it. I thought I loved him.”

Hang on. Wait. Thought? Loved? That’s like, past tense.

Mercy turned to Lauren, “He didn’t want me to come to your party Loz. I had no idea he’d try and come find me.”

That explains why she was so upset when she rocked up to the party. She must’ve been fighting with Demarco.

“How’d he know where you were?” Lauren asked sceptically.

“I uh, asked him if I could go,” she admitted, as she looked down at the ground, “He wanted every single detail, including your address. Didn’t matter anyway because he still said no.”

Lauren gave her a weird look I’d never seen before. I think… I think she felt sorry for her. I wasn’t. I was still mad as hell. But I held my tongue.

“But you came anyway,” Lauren said, as she gave her a hug, “I’m so proud of you.”

Mercy hugged her back, “I didn’t want to stay at home while you were celebrating your sixteenth.”

I was getting impatient with all the sympathy she was getting, “So, are you and Demarco still going out?”

Mercy slowly let go of Lauren, “It’s complicated.”

I couldn’t hold back anymore, “He’s an asshole! How can you NOT see that?”

“I CAN see it A!” Mercy snapped, “We are on a break. There’s a lot of stuff both of us need to think about.”

I scoffed, “Seriously? You’re going with that?”

“Yes I am,” Mercy replied defiantly, “And just FYI, I was the one who called the break. I’d been thinking about it for ages, so back off!”

OMG. She called it! I didn’t think she’d have it in her. I guess that’s progress. Hopefully she dumps his ass. He is the biggest loser and control freak I have ever seen. I mean, why the hell does she need permission to go to a friend’s party? Is he that insecure that he doesn’t trust her? I can’t believe that I thought he was a nice guy. But all along, it looks as though he’s been pulling the strings.

I mean, I thought that Mercy was manipulative. But I think Demarco is on a whole other level. And I think she’s finally realising how much of a dickhead he is. I wonder how long she’d been thinking about going on a break for…

OMG.

It’s all making sense now.

Everything this month. Her weird behaviour, her moodiness, the bitchiness. I think the cause has been Demarco. It’s so obvious! They must’ve been having problems for a while now, which was why she’d been such a bitch lately. She’s been taking it out on us.

Especially on Britt and Farah.

And she couldn’t exactly tell us that she never broke up with Demarco. I guess that made it worse.

But it doesn’t make it right.

I know that I made a huge deal about her going out with him, but she still should have told us that she was still going out with him. I sure as hell didn’t have to agree with it, but at least it wouldn’t have been a secret for so long.

I guess she’s paying the price for it now. I seriously hate to think how fucked up their relationship is if she’s called a break. I mean, after the way they both acted at Lauren’s party, I’m actually surprised that they didn’t just end it right then and there. It was pretty bad.

What hold does he have on her? If it was me, I’d leave right away. I think this is more the reason why I am so mad at her.

She’s in a seriously bad relationship. And she won’t let me help her.

I’m also angry because she doesn’t trust us. Ok, maybe I haven’t been in love before and I don’t really understand the whole thing, but like, she pushed us away when we tried to tell her that he’s no good for her. And now that things are shitty, she’s coming to us for sympathy.

As much as I am fucking mad at her, I do feel bad that she’s been putting up with him for all this time. Honestly, I don’t even want to think about what he might have done to her for all these months. I think the party was what pushed her to the edge.

I really hope that she does the right thing and leaves him. She can do so much better.

I don’t think I can be friends with her if she continues to take out her frustration with him on us.

That’s not how friendships work.

Amber A.

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